Monday, April 22, 2024
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10 Animals With Demons’ Mouths


Nature is terrifying. I think I shall be living somewhere far away from any and all animals from now on. Especially geese.

#1  Camels

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What even are those? It’s like the Sarlacc climbed out of its pit and started giving kids rides at the local fare.

#2  The Hagfish

It’s…a fish? A leech? An alien bent on world domination? Will we ever know the truth about the terrifying hagfish?

#3  The Pacu Fish

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It has human teeth. Human teeth. Human teeth. Human teeth. What the actual? No. Nope. Nope. Done. So done.

#4  The Loggerhead Turtle

There aren’t even any jokes that can be made about this. It’s like looking down the mouth of a living woodchipper designed to maul flesh instead of wood. A fleshchipper.

#5  The Cookiecutter Shark

It lives up to its name, doesn’t it? This isn’t exactly demonic. Maybe a cute demon that makes you cookies. With its mouth. Still a demon though. A cookie imp, maybe.

#6  The Humble Penguin

Apparently people think penguins are cute? Don’t say that to my friend; she’ll tell you about the time one of them bit her and show you the scar. You try being bitten by one of these demon birds.

#7  The Woodpecker

Some mad scientist took a bird and crossed it with an anteater. This is clearly what happened.

#8  The Vampire Fish



Not a very original name, is it? Still, it’s pretty accurate, you have to admit. I mean, look at the size of those things! That would have to hurt, if it got those into your hand.

#9  The Silver Lamprey



It’s like someone crossed a cucumber with a set of dentures. I think we can stay far away from cucumbers and dentures from now on, thanks.

#10  The Satan Bird




It’s a goose. Of course it’s a goose; geese are freakin’ terrifying, man!

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