Nature is terrifying. I think I shall be living somewhere far away from any and all animals from now on. Especially geese.
#1 Camels
What even are those? It’s like the Sarlacc climbed out of its pit and started giving kids rides at the local fare.
#2 The Hagfish
It’s…a fish? A leech? An alien bent on world domination? Will we ever know the truth about the terrifying hagfish?
#3 The Pacu Fish
It has human teeth. Human teeth. Human teeth. Human teeth. What the actual? No. Nope. Nope. Done. So done.
#4 The Loggerhead Turtle
There aren’t even any jokes that can be made about this. It’s like looking down the mouth of a living woodchipper designed to maul flesh instead of wood. A fleshchipper.
#5 The Cookiecutter Shark
It lives up to its name, doesn’t it? This isn’t exactly demonic. Maybe a cute demon that makes you cookies. With its mouth. Still a demon though. A cookie imp, maybe.
#6 The Humble Penguin
Apparently people think penguins are cute? Don’t say that to my friend; she’ll tell you about the time one of them bit her and show you the scar. You try being bitten by one of these demon birds.
#7 The Woodpecker
Some mad scientist took a bird and crossed it with an anteater. This is clearly what happened.
#8 The Vampire Fish
Not a very original name, is it? Still, it’s pretty accurate, you have to admit. I mean, look at the size of those things! That would have to hurt, if it got those into your hand.
#9 The Silver Lamprey
It’s like someone crossed a cucumber with a set of dentures. I think we can stay far away from cucumbers and dentures from now on, thanks.
#10 The Satan Bird
HAIL BEFORE THE SPAWN OF SATAN! YOUR SOULS ARE FORFEIT!
It’s a goose. Of course it’s a goose; geese are freakin’ terrifying, man!